Read the Bills Act Coalition

Monday, December 24, 2007

Documentary Proves the World Really just wants to be American...(They know it; we know it so just admit it)

Deviating from politics for a second since I’m in such a festive mood with Jesus’s birthday coming and all, I perhaps watched the greatest documentary yesterday ever made in the free world, Air Guitar Nation. If you have never seen this movie about the US and World Air Guitar Championships you must see it now (rent it for Christmas day watching) since it highlights probably the weirdest, funniest and downright scariest group of people since “Trekkies.” The exception to this scary rule is that you have to actually look at Michael Moore’s ugly mug when watching his pseudo-documentaries causing retinal damage and nightmares for all. But I digress…..this movie is about the formation of the US national Air guitar championship, since we have never competed in the World competition in Oulu Finland, that’s right the home of Air Guitar is in Finland (is anyone reading this laughing yet? will) and they take it quite seriously with seminars, boot camps and advice to the air guitar impresarios.
The majority of the documentary is spent on the US national Competitions (one in New York and one in Los Angeles) and the rivalry of David "C-Diddy" Jung and Dan "Bjorn Turoque" Crane (Bjorn Turoque is pronounced Born-to-rock, get it!!)…and their ultimate “airness” which is an official category for the judges to judge. I have never seen such a collection of guys that will never get laid, without money exchanging hands, in my life. These guys prance around, talk trash and try be to be as cool as one can be playing a non-existent instrument and acting like they were at the forum instead of in front of other guys that will talk of there coolness when they were dungeons master’s back in high school. Don’t get me wrong, I could not stop watching these pseudo rock gods play their imaginary guitars for all they were worth. The "airness" of the film really starts taking off when the eventual winner and runner up C-Diddy and Bojorn make the trek to Finland for the nationals. This brings me to the point of the article, no matter what we hear in the news around the world, everyone wants to be an American because even in the world as depraved as the Air Guitar battles, we’re just plain cool. When these American’s walk around you can almost physically see the other contestants bravado deflate into defeat as they talk big about the "over-hyped" Americans. It is obvious to all that the American contingent is brimming full of “airness” and they even beat a naked guy speaking some language we’ll never know….I’m serious. During the documentary (filmed in 2003) there is a seething undercurrent of the IRAQ war and the American contingent is worried about the reception they will receive once there, but when Bjorn Turoque gets a perfect score in a preliminary round and the US Champ ends up winning it, even the legends of Air Guitar cannot deny that by having an American champion it legitimizes this true art form. The Air guitar Organization even has a motto, “Make Air, not War” yes it is that lame and they believe the motto…oh did I forget to mention the ‘C-Diddy” wears a Hello Kitty Breastplate, I kid you not.

1 comment:

Carl Kilo said...

Merry Christmas Jody!